It's going to get worse before it gets better. Just thought you should know.Yeah, brain, I know. I'm used to this.
I just wish I could fix it all, right now. But there are a few things that can't be rushed, and a crash is one of them.
All things considered, I'm reasonably stable now. I'm not about to go off half-cocked, and my anger has been knocked about a bit and has retreated, allowing me room to breathe and move around.
It's still not good, though. My emotional responses are still huddled on a cold staircase somewhere, shivering in fear.
But at the moment I can seem normal, conduct my life, and otherwise be an upstanding citizen. and, really, i'm fundamentally okay. There's some stuff circulating in my head and my heart that i'm not too sure of, still, but i'm okay, if a tiny bit fragile at the moment.
Yet Another Fucking Growth Experience. Whee.
I hate being angsty. I really, honestly, do. And each time i get like this I *swear* it's going to be the last time.And there's always a next time.
I really do hate my brain sometimes. I wish I could figure out that there are things that need to change *before* I have a fit of whatever-this-is about something entirely unrelated.
So tonight, I'm going over to help Misha clean, and we'll probably have food and hang out and get a heck of a lot done. This weekend, the cats get let outside for the first time, after I've put the flea stuff on them and gotten their new tags on. They still haven't figured out the concept of a cat door, but i figure they'll get it eventually.And I'll clean and actually get the house in *order*, and game and everything will be lovely. Yis.
I'm actually looking forward to the weekend. Glory be, and stuff.
