I dreamed last night.I dreamed that there was something wrong with one of the tubes that leads from my kidneys to my bladder.
They said, "We'll fix it when we're in tying your tubes."
I also dreamed that, for some reason, I was talking to S, my ex. It was an awkward, bittersweet conversation. We made no reference to our relationship or to the breakup. I asked him, "What are you doing with yourself lately?"
We chatted. He cracked jokes and I smiled.
I needed to leave, and I briefly laid my hand on his shoulder, feeling the heat of his body though his shirt. "Keep in touch, okay?"
And walked away.
No trauma. Just seeing an old friend after something awkward has happened between you.
I've been reliving things in my sleep lately, and this is the first dream where I've had some indication that my subconscious may be on the verge of resolving some things. I go through this every once in a while, this cycle of nightmare and then resolution.
My conscious mind has had this resolved for quite a while now. I think it's finally trickling down into the lower levels of my brain--acceptance of what happened, my role in it, and forgiveness.
Forgetfulness may be another story. Much as I'd like to forget, much as I am practiced in the art of forgetfulness, I don't think it'll ever not be with me. And that's all right.
I learned too much to have that time missing from me. So I keep the letters, and remember.
So, this weekend will be entirely full. The AGM is going on, and I'm helping with it. It should be interesting, to say the least--large groups of pagans used to make the inside of my head itch, and I guess I get to see if that's really the case these days.
But I got to dye five dozen eggs, so it's all good.
And, yes, I *did* design and create the logo above. not half bad, if you ask me, and it prints up really nicely.
On the edge of possible largeish changes in my life. I'll keep you posted.
