I've been thinking about my ex Azure a lot lately. He's in the air force, and I currently have no idea if he's gone to Kosvo. He's a plane maitainence specialist, so he won't be involved in the fighting but....I just worry, is all. It's still tough for me to think of him in the military. He's too sweet to be there. He should be here, making me laugh and feel sad that he has the wrong plumbing.
As I once told him, "You'd be the perfect woman for me...but you're a guy."
I miss him.
And coming down the hill today I saw the most amazing sunset--the orange sun hanging maybe five degrees above the horizon, splashing a trail of itself over the lake, where yachts went slowly by and kyaks sculled, avoiding the wake. The high clouds in the west diffused the light, scattering it into a warm glow that informed the whole landscape--freeway bridge, lake, old gasworks, the compass hill--with a satisfied calm.A sprinkler caught the light, the water turning to gold as i watched, and a cat ran up to me and demanded to be picked up.
and people wonder why I love it here.
I, um, have a date tomorrow morning for breakfast.oh my.
I have a strangely complicated bedtime schedule these days. it goes like this:
- grab liter of water out of the fridge
- toddle into bathroom
- take meds, including two tinctures, a couple of supplements and other stuff. this invariably takes about half a liter of water.
- drink rest of water.
- brush and floss, rinse with mouthwash and then fluoride.
- go lie on my styrofoam roll for ten minutes. (it helps my back. it's one of those weird things that my mom tells me to do that works.)
- put on nightshirt, go to bed
I know all of these things are necessary, and having little rituals is comforting, but sometimes I miss the days when I could just brush my teeth, get naked, and climb into bed without worrying about anything else.
and in a nearly unrelated note, today was the first day of a full-fledged workout for me. I don't hurt very much right now, and hope this is a good sign. I will be a buff girl, yes I will.
I made you laugh
and you made me cry
I do believe it's time for me to fly...
outside: many scantily covered breasts
doing: catching up
to do: go to bed early
words: Fool on the Hill
heavy rotation: Rasputina, How We Quit the Forest, Peter Gabriel, So
link: the sound of shooting stars
energy level (out of ten): 6, 4 after exercising
dream: she walks and is graceful; I am entranced. She turns and she is suddenly someone I know. I avert my eyes.
