7/15/98
10:50 am
Hi, everyone. this is going to be a more rambling entry than usual, since I'm working a long day and I just want to have a space to jot down some stuff that I'm thinking about.
and sometimes it's the poison apple
and sometimes it's the moon
you just never know
it's just the way it goes
when you're reaching into this chance
for another try
I need to change my diet again. hooray. I likely need to go to 4-6 small meals a day, which makes me unhappy because I'll have to spend a lot of time planning food. i don't want to plan food. *sigh*
Now, some downtime while SourceSafe checks in about 300 new files--a process that takes about half an hour. I'm not particularly happy with my job at the moment, since this week, of all weeks, I very critically needed to be able to have a life, to spend lots of time away from work, to not be a critical-path person and have to work all sorts of insane overtime. In other words, I got a life for the week.
Unfortunately, deadlines don't change according to the personal needs of the only person who has her head wrapped all the way around this process. This is the world, and there are a few things that I have to move for instead of moving. These deadlines are one of them.
What's more, we're expecting to be slammed with deadline after deadline till mid-August and possibly later. I don't get to breathe until then. The thought really makes me want to cry--this project is killing my soul, I swear. I'm hoping, soon, to be able to work from home, which would help a lot.
Usually, i don't mind. I like working. i think work is a fine place to be. but at the moment, i want to be spending time with Melanie and my mom. I'd like to be able to take Friday off and hang out with my mom, but that's not to be. I'd love to have a job where I could say, "go hang. i'm currently having a life. keep your deadlines, your clients, your insanities to yourself. i'll be back later."
Speaking of, Melanie's going home Friday. It's the beginning of a long separation; possibly for over six months.
I'll miss her. much, much more than any words of mine could ever express.
I have things that will be constant reminders of her--the kitten, my new pierce, and a craving for cigarettes. Such are the things that anchor me to the world and keep me mindful that I have a past, but I have a future as well.
4:34 PM
Oh, yes, I got my nipple pierced yesterday. Seemed like a fitting celebration for Bastille Day. My French teachers would be amused.
the things I need to do:
make a new "to do every day" list
get my ducks in a row regarding my personal projects
read Crowley
read the JavaScript book
redesign this journal
get antihistamines and sea salt and film
7/16/98, 6:56 PM
Well, the deadline has been accomplished, and I feel like a miracle worker. I'm also dead tired, so i'm going to drop this into my template and call it an evening. I updated a bunch of stuff during my downtimes today, and I don't feel like bothering to list it all right now.
People who live in Washington State should go to today's link. It's worth your time.