For those of you who are looking for erotic writings, you've come to the wrong place. This is a rather clinical discussion of sexual magick and contains no erotica whatsoever. Sorry, folks, that's just the way it is.
This began as an email to a discussion list and evolved from there.
Sex magick has been described in many ways, and there are two major camps of opinion about the theory behind it. The first camp believes that sex magick is the interaction between two qualitatively different energies, and that the interaction of these energies in this particularly intimate way pushes a recombination of the two energies into a different, and greater, single energy, which then can be used in whatever way the two minds wish it to be used. In this theory, the more different the energies involved, the more interaction there is between them, and the more power can be applied to whatever goal. Also, this theory requires that there be two people involved in sex magick, making no provision for the singular practitioner (though, I have heard of a technique involving a solo person and a spirit of some kind).
The second camp holds that sex magick is not dependent on the interaction of different energies, but rather involves a blending of the energies involved. There can be as few or as many different energies contributing to this blending as possible; the friction between energies is what is to be minimized, rather than what is driving the heightening of the power. I belong to this second camp, and the exercises that I have written are dependent on this mindset.
Energy Work and Sex If you are familiar with energy work at all, you are aware that interaction between human energy fields can be an intense and sensual experience. This theory of sex magick takes that experience and pushes it one step beyond. Because intercourse in its many forms is an utterly intimate experience (arguably one of the most intimate many will ever experience), this intimacy is used to drive forth a Work. While being physically intimate with another person is not enough to fuel this by itself, it smooth the way for it to happen. The same things can be done without even touching the other person, but it is several orders of magnitude more difficult.
To many people, the experience of encountering another energy field is one of some sort of resistance. This occurs because each human energy signature is unique, and between different energies there is always some sort of friction. What sex magick does is to tune and heighten energies, much like syncing different sine waves on an oscilloscope. When two vibrations are at different frequencies and amplitudes, the waves will at times damp each other out and at other times amplify each other, this producing a sound that is radically different than the two contributing sounds. However, when the two sounds are exactly identical--with the same signature on the oscilloscope--the two waves always amplify each other, producing a coherent sound that is much louder than either of the contributing sounds alone. This is the idea behind sex magick: to tune energies to achieve maximum amplification.
Solo Work The same theory is used in solo work, in a slightly less obvious form. Sexual tension is a lovely way to gain a lot of energy quickly, and orgasm is greatly grounding for most people. It is very possible to raise and discharge energy using masturbation or fantasy, and this is the way it is most frequently used. There are other ways that sex magick can be used in solo work, as well. The same sort of tuning used during partner work can also be used during solo work--sexual arousal lends itself to focus, as it is a very powerful sensation that can be caused at will, and is very pleasant, besides. The energy that is raised during sexual arousal can be tuned very closely, and for the same amount of energy raised, less of it will be lost to "background noise". Also, solo sex magick is also good as a preparation and practice for sex magick with a partner, as it is all too easy to forget that one is attempting to work magick while being intimate with another person. There is a certain concentration necessary to focus the energy during arousal, and solo work is a way to gain that concentration.
Structure of Ritual and Uses of Magick The basic temporal structure of sex magick is something like this: arousal and raising of energy, tuning the energy raised perfectly, sending the energy to whatever Work is to be accomplished, and grounding (usually but not necessarily through orgasm). Because of the nature of the circumstances of sex magick, partnered sex magick is excellent for bonding rituals. A word of caution, here: the bonds formed through a binding Work done in this fashion are extremely strong and have a high likelihood of lasting even after the bonded people are highly sick of each other. A binding does not guarantee that the relationship will last, and can even be detrimental to the relationship. Case in point: I and my first lover, being completely naive and mostly untrained, created a very strong bond between us almost accidentally. We had a very bitter breakup and did not speak to each other for about a year; however, even when we were not speaking, we were almost always aware of the other person and could feel a bit of what the other person was thinking. Efforts to break the bond were tried, to no avail. (And it is very difficult to walk around with the certain knowledge that you are tied for life to a person who presently hates you with a deep and abiding passion.) We have since resolved the situation by becoming best friends, and the bond is still very much there, more than three years after it was created.
References There are several very good references for exercises and theory related to sex magick. There are many good books about Tantric sexual practices and theory on the market, and most of them will have some very good insights into the process of sexual magick as well as techniques to heighten the experience of sex and make sex magick more powerful. The Tantric theory is not the same as the Western theory of sex magick, but the broader one's knowledge base is and the more techniques one has to choose from, the better chance you have of finding the techniques that work the best for you. Another resource is a book titled The Guide to Sexual Magic. This is an interesting and useful resource (and a beautifully done book, besides). It has several chapters full of exercises one can do with a partner. the author disagrees with me on several points on the theory of sex magick, but, again, there more theory one reads the more likely one will find a flavor of theory that makes the whole thing make sense.
Surprisingly, another good resource for sex magick theory and practice are several of the new books on BDSM. My favorite among these is titled Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns, and has some very interesting insights into the usage of energy in sexual situations. It's a good read, even if you're not particularly into BDSM. It has a discussion of headspace (something like a mindset, though a bit more involved) that generalizes well to the ritual and magickal headspace. Also, the classic Selfloving by Betty Dodson is a good read for solo practitioners.
Sample Technique I include here a technique that is one of my favorites, particularly for helping people who are out of touch with their bodies get back in touch with it. It also is one of the first steps to gaining the kind of concentration needed for any kind of sex magick.
Note: during this exercise, it may be helpful to practice breathing deeply and quickly. If you find yourself holding your breath at any time, release your breath entirely, and begin breathing deeply. This simple change often helps delay orgasm and makes for orgasms that spread through the body instead of being centered simply in the genital area.
First, ground and center. Feel what your body is like unaroused, feel where the centers of tension are, feel how the energy in you flows. How are you positioned? do you have more of your weight on one side and less on another? Are your legs parted or closed? Where are your arms?
Begin to pleasure yourself. Tease yourself. Put your hands on all the places you like other people to touch (that are easily reachable, anyway). Use light pressure. Feel how your body responds. Feel how the energy in you changes. If you are experienced at working with energy, draw energy towards your hands, and run energy along your body, and feel how your body and your energy flow respond to that. Be aware of what is going through your head. What images arouse you? What words? What memories? What do you fantasize about while this pleasure is going on?
Get a bit more intense. Stroke your genitals, your inner thighs, your hips. Feel how your body responds to this, how the energy in you grows as you become more aroused. Gradually, get more and more intense. (I have been asked if vibrators are "cheating". They certainly are not. If you like your vibrator, go right ahead and use it.) Use whatever style of masturbation you most enjoy; just remember to feel the sexual energy in you and feel how your body is responding to both the stimulation and the energy.
If you like, as you feel yourself approach orgasm, back off. Bring yourself to the edge and back down again. Feel how your body and your energy respond to this. Does it grow or lessen? (Many of the females I know say that this technique makes for intense orgasms, but many of the men I have talked to have said that it merely frustrates them. YMMV.) When you do orgasm, experience it fully. Feel how your energy responds to orgasm, and how, at the height of pleasure, sexual energy is also at its height.
After orgasm, ground. Orgasm itself is greatly grounding, but there might be some energy left that is not grounded with orgasm.
It can take many tries to be able to concentrate on the energy all the way through orgasm. Don't worry if you can't do it in the first several tries; this is the most basic and the hardest of all the techniques to learn for a lot of people.