I should know better than to think that I'm ever going to get any work done on Sunday nights. There are *people* around, and stuff, and there's TV to watch (now that I've gotten back in the X-Files habit), and there's just all of these constant interruptions. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing.
But here I am without a script for the session tonight and I only have a vague idea of what's going to happen. And 6:45 AM is not the correct time of day for me to be thinking about this.
Argh.
By the way, while I'm thinking about it, doomcookie.com is now active. Yup, that's going to be my new personal site, and I haven't decided what exactly I'm going to do with it yet. Maybe the journal and the Webcam will be over there, maybe I'll do something else with it.
Right now the idea of doing anything is exhausting.
I don't have access to my work email. I am going nuts, here. I've been working on some of my projects, but having no mail means that I don't know if anything urgently broken that really needs to be fixed. Fortunately, my Palm has my schedule in it, so I know I have meetings from 9 till noon today, but if I didn't have that I wouldn't even have that much.
I'm also hungry. I should take a break to get breakfast.
So Saturday was my day with Das Sprout.I showed up just ahead of the movers, spent some time running around with everyone, and as the movers arrived I helped her put her shoes and and away we went.
First stop was the ducks, of course. We went down to the street-end park on Lynn and fed the little flock of ducks that hangs out there. I don't know what it is about feeding things that's so fascinating, but there's just something satisfying about feeding ducks. She kept asking me why they were hungry, and I kept explaining that they hadn't had their breakfast yet.
Her favorite phrase is, "why?" She's at the age where she's starting to make some serious inroads on making sense of the world, but hasn't quite gotten it all down yet.
After the ducks and a trip to the store to buy light bulbs and toilet paper, it was time to play with the computer. I'd accidentally left my furby down on her eye level, so she was wandering around carrying the furby, tickling it mercilessly and feeding it until it started hiccuping. We played with the Webcam for a while—she was utterly fascinated by the relationship between where she put the camera and how the picture changed on the screen. We also made some recordings of her voice, which we played over and over.
Three's a fun age, but exhausting. There are endless explanations ("Why don't I want to fall into the lake?" "Why is he digging?" "Why is the kitty friendly?" "What's that?" *points at old gum stuck underneath the table*), and endless repetitions of whatever it is she likes. The other phrase that comes out of her with startling frequency is "Do that again!"
After the computer, we watched Wallace and Grommit and had lunch. And then it was time for *dunh dunh dunh* the fish store! I'd decided I wanted a couple of new goldfish, and decided Das Sprout would be the perfect person to go pick out fish with.
She was fascinated. After doing once around the store at her eye level, she insisted on being picked up and taken around the store again to see the fish at my eye level. She was especially excited by the red flame scallops after I explained that they had those tentacles out to try and catch food as it went by.
We finally got around to picking out two goldfish. She wanted a silver and black one, and I wanted a calico one. So they were bought home, adjusted to the tank water while she took a nap (sort of...well, she was lying in bed resting, if not sleeping), and christened Silver and Shiny. Chris came over to cook chili and became part of the entertainment as she showed him the new fish and the cats.
Then Velvet and Lumiere showed up, the move having been completed, and they all went over to the new house, leaving me and Chris to finish cooking chili and go to the Hell Heartburn gathering.
And life, she was good.
I need sleep.Desperately.
The big problem with working from 6 till 2:30 is, well, nobody else I know works this shift. social life, for me, starts at 7 pm.
i *have* to be in bed by 10 at the very latest and preferably 9. You can see the issue here.
And there are such fascinating things to *do* in my long solitary afternoons. I go shopping, I pick up the house, I write, I'm generally fantastically productive. (Oh, man, it's wonderful to be by myself so much!) I don't want to waste any of that time on a nap.
And, you know, I have a variety of wonderful friends, all of whom do fascinating things and who I want to be around a lot.
But the lack of sleep is making me very cranky.
Things that will help:
- starting to work out again (as soon as the banks open tomorrow and I get my damned paycheck)
- getting some video tapes so I can tape the X Files instead of watching it on Sunday nights
- not expecting myself to feel like being social all the time. Feeling free to say, "No, I can't do that, I need a nap and some alone time"
- figuring out a way that I can work in my bedroom. I'm a smart girl, surely I can figure this out.
I'm currently entertaining fantasies of moving to the Yukon and writing a novel. This is Jack's Feeling of Complete Overwhelm. Of course, I won't actually pick up and move to the Yukon. It's cold there.
I have this anxious feeling that there just isn't enough time. For anything. Not for writing what I want to write, not for being with all these fabulous people I've got in my life, and not for myself.
Especially not for myself. I remember this feeling. This is the end-of-winter feeling, when things get hard and I'm all moody because I think spring should have arrived by now and it hasn't yet.
Really bad mood swing just now--i nearly bit off a coworker's head for something that was totally not her fault.Two and a half more hours until I get to go away. I can last that long. Breathe. Drink water. Try to keep focused through the exhaustion.
I told someone this morning that I wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box today. and I'm not. I just realized I'm wearing the same outfit I was wearing yesterday and I can't figure out what's wrong with the staging environment. I think I may go home before I do anything bad to any other machines.
