stone against skin
September 22nd: lunch money zero effect naughty science!
"All the cool kids are letting cows suck on their hands..."
—Melli
Dream:
I dream that I am in a hospital, walking along the corridors, looking for something I think may or may not belong to me. the hospital is dead silent, there's no sound, and I realize that this is because i am deaf. I grow more and more frightened as I continue to search, continually forgetting what I am looking for but knowing that I must find it.
i come to a chapel, where they are holding a funeral service for a stillborn baby. The chapel has some of those body refrigerators in it, and the mother goes and gets the baby to put in the little coffin. I realize that they're going to baptize it, then bury it. The mother opens the fridge and pulls out the tray that has the dead baby on it. It's blue and and grey and bloody, the umbilical cord is wrapped around its neck, and it's covered with shiny plastic. It looks like a vacuum-packed piece of meat. It starts to move, and everyone is suddenly afraid of this dead baby, but the mother picks it up. Its eyes flip open, and they're just grey marbles with black dots on them. It starts to growl, which is the only sound I can hear. It hates the mother who killed it, the mother who cannot hear it growling. The growl gets louder and with difficulty it opens its mouth and bares sharp teeth that are slicing through its lips, it's making a horrible mess of its face. I think, "It hates her, it hates her, but it can't kill her..." The mother, oblivious to her plastic-wrapped dead baby's growling and hatred and teeth, is rocking the baby and singing. It can't stand the sound of her voice. I am horrified, but more horrified by the mother than by the baby.
In the end, I was almost sympathetic to the horrible dead baby.
Icky/yucky dream about dead babies (those of you with weak stomachs may want to skip down to Reality, which is much more warm and fuzzy)
Instead of writing this, i should be writing an article for Blueprint. Really. But I don't know what i'm going to write about and I have to have it back by 5, so i think i'm just going to zone and let my subconscious work on the problem for a while.So i called Melanie last night and talked with her for a couple of hours. she's all nervous because she's quitting her job today, so I did my best to give her a bit of encouragement. in return she cast an illuminating light on the behaviour of some people who used to be close to me and gave me this warm feeling somewhere beneath my breastbone. That was the most significant thing I did all evening, and i'm really glad I did it. It was kind of a whim—I was home, I was feeling sleepy, and I realized i hadn't talked to her for a few days and wanted to call her and tell her i missed her.
I think i'm going out to Iowa in November, possibly for a long weekend. I'll have more vacation built up by that time, and money from all the overtime I'll be working between then and now.
*****
We have lots of people working for the production department now, and it's all I can do to try and train everyone at the same time. It's a challenge, certainly (and didn't I say I wanted a challenge? i did!)
*****
I think i'm going to go to the state fair on Friday as my birthday gift to myself. I love state fairs--where else can you pet cows, eat corn dogs, learn about agriculture, and ride a ferris wheel all in one day? And that's a payday, so i'll be able to splurge a little bit on myself. Maybe I'll get a pinwheel or an invisible dog. Maybe I'll pay to see the World's Largest Cow.
So many possibilities!
the moment:
stone against skin
CD: REM, New Adventures in Hi-Fi
Book: Jitterbug Perfume, Tom Robbins
Outside: wow, it's really nice...summer's last hurrah.
Doing: uploading my brain
Link: Zannah is bored. Send her stuff.
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