You can always start at the beginning...or pick an entry from the list below.
February 1999
January 1999
December 1998
November 1998
November 1998
September 1998
August 1998
July 1998
June 1998
a pause here for vacation...
29—wrapped up in anarchy::anxiety dreams and thinking about what it means to love
May 1998
April 98
23—I'll pretend that this is real 'cause it's what I like best::new fish tank, trying to get on with my life
Archives: dangerous and lucky
1 catheter jokes make the baby Grog cry—oh, duh, i'm sick.
18 leaving the country—an absence explained
3 you want to go forever—technical resolutions
4 five or zero—sleepy girl
5 has trouble acting normal when she's nervous—diving into the wreck
8 when I was a boy—trying to put the atom back togehter
11 Accessible Everywhere Girl—I go on a shopping trip. Do I ever!
15 put on my pretty colors—rant rant rant
18 where oh where has my Juniper gone—Rustycon and a kitten gone missing
20 liquid diamonds—Exploding Bill has a new bowl
21 llama school—I'm cranky. i don't know why, either.
26 please don't hurt me—misery
1 my rattlesnake my restlessness—house lust
3 the Princess of Life Gone Out—relaxation and lamination
5 the smell of hot countries—crowded stores
6 that's not a life, it's a dancefloor—GigaPet and Melanie dreams
7 yearning on high holy days—random reality avoidance
8 the long sacred nights—the lightless time
14 nostalgia for sharp lights—why I'd like to be a christian
21 practices a healthy deathstyle—impeachments and a death in the family
19 every ending is a beginning—mundanities
23 when a man's an empty kettle—Big Ass Storm, free floating anxiety
25 feeling old by 21—vacation pictures
30 the smallest creatures near you are heavenly bodies—a brush with tragedy and the nesting instinct
Archives: two percent for taking chances and falling in love
3rd—design is (almost) better than sex::I'm ready to go.
October 1998
10th—98%::other people go on killing sprees. Me, I write in my journal.
17th—a coast, gone mad::manmade objects are alien
3—comes the lightning::I'm not so enthused about work
4—subtle dreams of a world gone mad::an allnighter at work
12—closer to fine::majordomo cooperates and a dream about dressers
14—the scent of new leather::pondering this sense of completion
15—this stone on my tongue::skimming surfaces
16—exhaustion::hitting the wall
19—spider season::scooter dream, paper jounal tigers
21—you can make me wear the stupid halo, but you can't make me take off my boots::Halloween stuff, awyeah
23—purple everything::I grump a bit.
26—yet another Orpheus::mythological meanderings
30—a statue shot with green::new Kris pictures!
31—a secret ill kept::I used to like Halloween a lot more.
3—this is my last innocent year::I'm cranky, tired, and succinct.
8—fingertips have memories::there are days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed
10—the bee's knees, and other insect erogenous zones::I fret about things that may not happen
18—born under the star seven-red::I've been busy, and work is why
20—a critical failure to care::I express the emotion cranky
22—lunch money zero effect naughty science!::dead baby dream, agriculture lust
23—stop all the clocks::Scooter's dead. *cry*
26—post-birthday::I had a birthday in there somewhere, didn't I?
27—itchy life::I have a snit fit about work
30—afterimage of a coatrack::cool things are happening
4—cue the howls, I'll ride this wind::the invisible fire is burning night and day
6—my drug of choice::yet another poem
7—can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad?::my own little Hell, me and the Pill, the inner images
10—reality itself is too twisted::yet another rumination on the process
11—you don't want to know where I've been::I think my brain was fried yesterday
18—between the moon and you::...and then, the oral sex!
19—leaving Bethlehem::gross-out dream, anger, blowing my own mind
20—all about value::new pictures of me, going onwards
21—don't touch that dial, world!::I get huffy about rhyme. Sheesh.
23—a plastic goldfish::remembering a vacation
24—spaghetti hubris::a bus accident made me late for dinner. no kidding.
26—she'll sleep with the fish or the angels, you choose::even the dilemmas are happier now
29—kawfee and skones::a little poetry, a little ramble
2—holding on to childhood's dreams::aww, lookit the baby!
6—swallowing the fire::Robin Williams needs a new name, Burning Man, chocolate, fire, and random notes
13—blood makes noise::kitten, thinking, being happy
16—ramble, ramble::a couple of looong days
22—fear my .chm files::I was up all night. at work. could someone please tell me what the hell i was thinking?
24—pagan televangelists::my mail is bouncing. wah.
26—i'm not crazy and you're not nice::a new design, a brighter life
30—are those my brains? neat!::a dream about high school, a good-bye to a good site
3—a trick of the light and it draws you higher::anyone have a good umbrella I can borrow?
4—long years in a hot house zone::dog dreams, new poem
9—there's a mystery on the road tonight::cool stuff happened today!
10—the perfume of my lover on my hands::yet more writing, thinking about dust motes
14—for all my days remaining::kinda bobbling, but otherwise okay
16—departures::getting ready to leave
30—rooks and pawns::doctors, voodoo offerings, flying
1—shut up and live::facades, new drugs, dangerous speculation
4—we can dance if we want to::mundanity, transformations
5—Please do not feed my God a peanut::for a big city, Seattle really is a small town
6—If you can smell it, it's killing you::new music, loving the hard things
7—Tori tells Time to stick its head in a piano::scanned pictures, dream about a serial killer
8—I am not from your tribe ::computer crash, new ICQ number, poetry
11—I have a january world ::thoughts on self-harm, computer anxiety
12—I'm all out of faith::a really, really rough night
13—*here*i*go*::meandering about the venting process
18—the road back::trying to decide if it's worth it to try again
26—what black magick can do::getting organized
27—melli's birthday is today!::it isn't every day a girl has a birthday
28—why can't my ba|la|loon stay up::oh, man, can't ANYTHING go right?
30—these eyes are the eyes of the old::hope is for other people
24—what do you hear in these sounds?::new poem, munitions factory, people are finally starting to notice I'm still alive
27—today I am Witch Baby::non-narrative dream, more sappiness, unsolicited compliments
28—awake and alive::tattoo and recognizing people
30—Beltane Eve::highs and lows, another poem