There's nothing more annoying than doing most of a redesign...tweaking the pages so they look excellent, reformatting a bunch of stuff...and then thinking, hey, this project requires Frontpage 2000. Guess i'll install it...And discovering that it's hosed your OS.
So the last week has been kind of tied up in that. i didn't lose everything, but I lost a really significant amount of work since my last backup that hadn't been uploaded yet. So my redesign will be another week in the offing, i think—I have to redo some graphics, and redo some of the structural changes I made.
One of the things I was thinking about this weekend, as I went about the city amusing myself at museums and eating fish and chips, was what the season actually means to me, these days.It used to be that I would lie in bed and stare for hours at the fragments of light from the Christmas tree, made sharp-edged by my mostly-closed bedroom door. The holidays were a time for magic; cookies were plentiful, presents were in the offing, and the anticipation was delicious.
As I've gotten older, I've lost a lot of that. I never used to understand people who said they were too busy to enjoy the holiday, but now i've joined them. I've got things on my mind other than the holidays; the magic just isn't there any more.
Which is really sort of sad, and something I'd like to remedy, if at all possible. Perhaps it's time to buy some candy canes and make little banana breads. Next year, I definitely want a tree, and decorations.
Actually, I think just the candy canes will help. Nothing like hot chocolate with peppermint candy in it to put me in a holiday mood. *heh*
I go to California next week. Fear this.
...and on the third day he rose from the dead...It would be so nice to be able to be a Christian.
I mean, okay, the fact that it's the dominant religion of the country I was born in notwithstanding, it must be such a comfort to have the knowledge that there's this God the Father looking out for you, Jesus to tell all your troubles to, and a host of angels to keep you from Bad Shit.
(I'm not being ironic, here. It does sound comforting.)
I don't know what it would be like to think that being a good person would garuntee me a place in heaven. The comfort of knowing what was going to happen to you after you died would be nice.
But, no. I'm the kid who talked to faeries and gods; by the time I was ten nothing about me was certian except that I was and was forever going to be a pagan. I can't get away from it any more than i can get away from my eyes--it is a part of and colors everything I do. I celebrate the secular holiday of Christmas, but i also celebrate the Solstice, four days before. It's an intensely private little holiday, and not one that I would share with any but the closest friends and family. The longest night of the year is the night that the sun is reborn, the promise that warmth will return eventually.
Where Samahin is an ending, and the two months after it are the time of the death of hope, the Solstice is the returning of light, the fulfillment of the cycle of change. We will always die.
But we will always grow again.
she's out there on her own and she's all right...—Sunny Came Home, Shawn Colvin
outside: sun? SUN!
doing: detesting FrontPage
link: Presidential 'pardon me'
dream: I'm walking downtown and eople keep on coming up and asking me things. Suddenly, i'm at my desk, trying to make FrontPage work.
