I am having a severe case of MASSIVELY HUGE BOOBS right now.

See, normally, I have little boobs in relation to my body size. I don't even wear a bra most of the time. However, right now, I'm having a real live period for the first time in forever, and instead of merely being cramped and achy, like I notrmally am, I am cramped, achy, I'm retaining water, and my boobs are swollen by at least a cup size, and they hurt. I'm not used to this.

And people notice. Even if they don't say anything.

I get more looks as I walk down the street. All I want to do is scuttle home and curl whimpering around these water balloons that have somehow attached themselves to my chest and people are *looking* at them.

I'm not used to my body parts changing in such a radical manner. My breasts have just always sort of been there. They're generally no trouble. And since I haven't ever had regular cycles, this is just one more surprise.

My answer, tonight, is to have a couple of drinks and write some and hopefully get a lot of sleep. I also picked up some Midol, as I'm told it helps.

I miss being a mutant. This whole period thing bites the wax tadpole.

Went to Vancouver Wednesday with CC. That was fun; she'd never been there before, and I got so into chatting with her that I got lost when we first got into Vancouver.

Eventually, however, we found our way to Lonsdale Quay and then to Lush and Death by Chocolate and all was good. I didn't get to Murchie's to buy more Empress Afternoon blend, but I'll be up there sometime soon again, I think.

Chris and I are starting to talk about going up there for a weekend in December. Depending on his job situation and what's happening in my life, of course...but I'm looknig forward to it already. I want to show him the city...and a weekend just plain away from everyone and everything just sounds really wonderful.

I've had some domme moments lately.

A hand on a throat. A look in the eyes. The question, "do you trust me?"

With my life...

I've missed it. Topping is the sweetest wine I know. Not that I'm going to get carried away...but it's good to be playing again with someone I trust that completely. Who trusts me, that completely. Who knows that no matter what, I will not harm them.

It means a lot to me, that trust. We may not play often, or even very hard when we do play, but the trust is there and even that little taste is enough to satisfy me, to remind me.

daybreak

you won't get away without this:
marked, torn, naked and suffering
you dream fond dreams of truth
within these thorns, this hedge
that grew up overnight.

you are surrounded by vines
and you name them--Compassion,
Virtue, Kindness, and Faith.
by them you are bound
to earth

gladly scrubbing your fingers
in this dirt, your reality,
your winged things are small
but never insigificant, here

at the sun's rise you turn
your noble head, suffering
your shadow to fall on those rows
the fertile ground you've encouraged
to grow these seedlings:

Dream, Faithfulness, Imagination,
Duty, Hope, and Joy.

--10/18

previous entry   next entry
before | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | after

the new zero
| archives | reads | backstory | cast | what | why?
home
email