stone against skin
August 4th: cue the howls, I'll ride this wind

"I have looked all over the place, but you have got my favorite face.
Your eyelashes sparkle like gilded grass and your lips are sweet and slippery
Like a cherub's bare wet ass ...
Cause you're a human supernova,
A solar superman
You're an angel with wings afire,
A flying, giant friction blast
You walk in clouds of glitter and the sun reflects your eyes,
And every time the wind blows, I can smell you in the sky.
Your kisses are as wicked as an F-16
And you fuck like a volcano and you're everything to me ..."

—Liz Phair, Supernova

Dream:

Unix fills my dreams--vague intimations of things that I can't remember, commands I try to issue but can't. All is dark, and I'm fumbling, trying to find the command for making it light.

Reality:

They're filming something over at the Noodle house in Fremont today. i can't tell what, nor can i figure out what film company is doing the filming. Their trucks and equipment aren't marked. Spooky.

Speaking of Fremont, Adobe has officially moved in. It's noticeably more crowded here, but since I'm bringing my lunch this week, I haven't been impacted all that much. Yet.

*****

madstop.org is almost its own machine.

Serious!

I own a little 486 that is named Crab, and it will host shell accounts, a Web server, and possibly an ftp site soonish. As soon as I teach myself enough sysadminning to get everything set up. it's going kind of slowly right now, since the only time I have actual physical access to the machine is when i'm out and about with Mike. But I've been spending a lot of time with Mike, so it's going well, all things considered.

Oh, and I'm going to learn majordomo so i can run mailing lists, too, since all of the free list services I've come across either suck or aren't accepting any new users.

It's hosted on the Seattle Bandwidth co-op, so it's sitting on a partial T-1. Rowr. Bandwidth!

*****

I'm in love. I'm totally insane.

We're talking about futures, possible weddings, kids, and (possibly the most important, right now) how we're going to manage to actually be closer to each other. I could, of course, move to Iowa, but I'm not sure if that would be the wisest move for me financially. she could move out here, but she wants to be close to her family. And between Seattle and Iowa are vast acres of economically unprofitable land.

Perhaps the solution is for me to get a house on the outskirts of Seattle and get a car. If I'm doing well financially, we could visit Iowa several times a year.

Or perhaps I'll just move out to Iowa. If I can get a job that pays comparably to what I'll be getting here by the end of the year...

Like I said, i'm totally insane.

(and for those of you out there who think that maybe this is all a little hasty, let me assure you it is not. This has been almost two years in the making.)

*****

All in all, my good mood continues, unbroken by stress, sinus infections (you would not BELIEVE the stuff that has come out of my nose!), and various frustrations. I find this to be totally weird and maybe a little scary...is this what not being depressed feels like? Is this what it feels like to be basically normal?

And, typical of me, i'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. But this time, I refuse to anticipate the drop by causing it.

Everything is beautiful. So beautiful it's blinding. And there's nothing dragging on me, this time.

the moment:
CD: Liz Phair, Whip-smart
Book: Summon the Keeper, Tanya Huff
Outside: testing files
Doing: pondering designs for several sites
Link: Godzilla vs. Tamagotchi

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