Hey, everyone, I'm back.I've been taking a break from introspection. It's hard to look inside yourself when you're busy keeping up the shell that protects you forget that there's anything inside the shell at all.
Or, at least, that what happens with me. This happens every time I hang out with my parents--I become a cute little automaton, devoid of any real personality but able to answer every question correctly. This is the job that anne used to do, and her presence became a habit that's difficult to break.
I came back and I've been intensively hanging out with friends, as an antidote to shell-person syndrome. So I've just really gotten around to doing computer stuff again. I finally really truly fixed mail on madstop.org. I hope, anyway. It was kind of a messy DNS hack, but it's fixed. I should actually say that Mike fixed it. He suggested the solution, which was something I'd mused about doing but didn't know if it would work.
I also finally made my roommate an account. Of course, she's out of town till the middle of the month, but it's still done.
I've been sleeping a lot, letting my body do whatever it wants. I'm recovering from the Solstice-induced bleakness, now that the days are incrementally longer and my brain chemicals are sitting up and taking notice. Look, they say. It's 4:45 and we can still see. This must mean summer is coming back!Poor little brain chemicals. They're so suscpetible to the enviornment I stick them in, as well as how well I remember to take my drugs.
I got a gift certificate for Lane Bryant for Christmas, so with Laura yesterday I toddled down to Southcenter to go look at what I might want to get. They have miniskirts! As a woman with bodacious hips, I have never owned a skirt that hits above my knees. So I really lust after a cute little plaid miniskirt. I don't have the best legs in the world, but you'd be amazed at the number of faults that tights will hide.i didn't try anything on, so i don't even know how it'll look on me, but hey. The mere thought is a happy thing. i'm such a clothes horse, sometimes.
I need to make a list of things I need to do. There are so many things I need to do; the next month is going to be pretty busy as I build the foundations of things that have been in the works for months.first item on list: make list.
I have another machine that's destined for Madstop. I need an Ethernet card for it, and probably a new hard drive, but then I can plop NetBSD on it and everyone is happy.
my New Year's resolutions:
- do something in a purposeful fashion towards actually getting fit again. Tired, tired, tired of feeling like a lump.
- Find my patron again. Smooch her.
- keep up with email.
that seems reasonable, right?
(I got into drunktank. GO ME.)
and you want to bridge the schism/a built-in mechanism to protect you./and you're looking for salvation/and you're looking for deliverance/and you're looking like an idiot/but you no longer care./and you want to climb the lader/you want to see forever./you want to go out friday/you want to go forever.—Hope, REM
outside: sunny and chill
doing: fucking around at work
link: Drunktank
dream: I dream that I am on a journey. We are in England, because Melanie is driving and she's sitting on the right side of the car. I am sitting behind her, and I give each of her bare shoulders a kiss. The people around me pretend not to see.
